KhandLozCollision
by Marickiya
Summary: If you begin to read my little entry here, you'll think, WTF is this person on? This isn't legend of Zelda well if you KEEP reading then you'll realize why it's in this catagory. And I'm bad at reviews but read it's oober funny. Sora from KH and Link from
1. Enter the randomness

My attempt at being funny and random…of course its easier when Tasha does it

Kingdom Hearts and Legend of Zelda COLLIDE! **_Director's cut_**

1. Enter the randomness

WHOOOOOSH

"Whoa what was THAT!" Sora said holding his head.

"Oh I don't know but my head hurts." Kairi said also holding her head as if in pain.

"Yah mine too…Who the hell is Donald and Goofy?" Sora asked just remembering something.

"They're your friends." Kairi said bewildered.

"Huh?" Sora looked at his friend quizzically.

"…..I have no idea where that came from." Kairi said.

"Oooookaaaayy…"

"Hey lets make a raft so we can get off this stupid island and join forces with evi--I mean explore new worlds." Riku said appearing as if out of nowhere.

"Yah!" Sora and Kairi shouted in unison.

If you can't already tell, Sora and company have somehow gone back in time to where their journey began.

"Something doesn't feel right," Sora said three days later after they had finished the raft.

"Well your shirt's in-side-out if that's what you mean," Riku grunted as he hefted the giant raft into the air at Kairi's command.

Sora took off his shirt. "No it's not that, it's just I have a bad feeling-"

THUUUNK

"Whoa what was THAT!" Sora said holding his shirt.

"Oh man de ja vu," said Riku holding his head.

Now if you're remotely smart, you'll realize, that 'twas Kairi who made the noise. That's right, she , being awed by shirtless Sora, fell on the raft drooling.

"Riku, how can you hold that raft up with her on it? Sora said, poking Kairi with a newly found stick, as her drool pooled vehemently over the side of the raft and onto the sand. Sora and Riku watched as, before their eyes a massive ocean of drool appeared across the horizon.

Riku gulped his hand moving towards his throat. "Hm I was wondering how we were gonna use the raft. This works doesn't it?"

Sora fell to the ground, twitching.

"That was so amazing," he choked.

Riku stared at Sora then at Kairi. Then at Sora, then at Kairi. Then did the chicken dance. Sora and Kairi miraculously recovered and joined in, disco lighting appearing out of no where.

In Hyrule somewhere…

Link stood in front of the alter of time, having just placed the three spiritual stones in their respective sconces. Then, in a fluid movement, dramatically opened one of his pouches containing the ocarina of time. Just as slowly, he placed it to his lips and began to sluggishly play the song of time. Navi, who bye now had been watching Link for a two and a half hours as he first placed the stones down then begin to play, had lost all virtue…

"GET ON WITH IT!" _And people think _**I'm **_annoying, _the small fairy thought as Link sped to a normal pace. Then there was a loud grating sound as the doors of time themselves opened before their very eyes.

"Weet woo there's something you don't see everyday," Navi said after attempting to whistle.

"You're not supposed to SAY it," Link said looking at his fairy incredulously.

"Say what?"

Link sighed. "If you can't whistle then don't do anything."

Navi looked a Link. "WHAT are you talking about?"

Link stood fuming, his eye twitching.

"Link, go get the sword," Navi whined.

Link began to walk forward…then tripped over a loose tile.

"You're hopeless…" Navi sighed.

"GOTCHA !"

"Ahh what are you doing?" Navi shouted from Link's hand.

"You'll see," Link said with an evil smirk on his face.

"Ahhh!"

"There," Link said tapping the glass of a bottle, Navi inside screaming. Nothing could be heard though.

"Heh, this reinforced glass really does its job," said Link wonderingly.

"Now," he said putting away the bottle for later destruction, "off to find that sword."

Sora lay in his bed looking out the window at the oncoming storm.

"Hmm," he hummed.

Sora knew something was missing…

Three hours later

"Oh crap! The raft!"

Sora ran after getting off his boat. He spotted Riku.

"Riku! Where's Kairi? I thought she was with you." Sora finished, before…

THUUUUUNK

Sora stared at Riku. And stared. And stared. And stared. And guess what. Being the smart people you are, you can tell that Sora…did the chicken dance!

Riku automatically revived from falling and joined in with the dancing, disco lights again appearing out of nowhere. When they finished, Riku doubled over, holding his head.

"What happened?" Sora asked looking at Riku.

And of course…

"De ja Vu overload," Riku grunted.

"Oh," Sora said softly. He then looked up at the purple swirly vortex, hovering above them.

"Hey! What's that?" Sora said.

"C'mon Sora. Let's go. We may not be able to return, but…I wanna be evil so bad--oh wait…umm….

I wanna see what's out there, ya that," Riku finished hurriedly.

Sora brought his gaze back to Riku. "Ok but what about Kairi--"

"Kairi's coming with us!" Riku shouted.

He stood there as lighting flashed across the sky. Then he smiled holding out his hand.

"Riku…?" Sora said skeptically.

"C'mon, you know you want to," Riku said his smirk slanted.

Sora stared at him.

"That sounded wrong in so many different ways," Sora commented before reaching out to grab his hand, only to find air between his fingers.

"What the?"

'SHHIIIIIIINNNGGGG'

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Link was standing at the doors of time looking for the said Master sword. It took a second…okay more than a second…OKAY it took eight days. There, standing in the mid evening sun, through the topmost and only window in the room--

"How do you know it's the mid evening sun?" asked the ever-questioning Link.

"I'm not "ever-questioning, it's just how do you know it's mid evening sunlight coming through that window? There's light coming through that window day and night," Link doubted the wily narrator--

"You're wily?"

Yes I, the narrator, am wily, and now Link will shut the hole in his face before--

"Oh ya? What are you gonna do?"

STOP INTERUPTING ME!….And then Link held up his hand. Apparently he did his studying in sign language, because right then he is telling…me…that… A-l-l n-a-r-r-a-t-o-r-s a-r-e…

Two minutes later

Link re-entered the Temple of Time's entrance sporting a rather nasty looking black eye. You know, I think you should get that checked out--

"Ya all thanks to you…shutting up now," Link said pulling an apple out of his pouch and stuffing it in his mouth.

Link walked through the door towards the placed Master sword and its pedestal, taking his dear, sweet time as many do inside the temple of TIME.

He approached the sunlight podium in all its magnificence, fingering the hilt of the shining blade, taking a hold of it to free the sword's resting place.

"Do you have to make it so melodramatic?"

……….

"Sorry," he said replacing the apple, silencing his arguments with the nonexistent narrator.

….wait a second I do exist….

'_Shing'_

"Huh?"

A bright blue light erupted from the platform, illuminating the entire chamber.

"AHHH!"

"Why hello! We don't get many visitors h-- oh you're that boy I brought from the past!" said an excited voice from inside Link's head.

Link groggily opened his eyes and looked around. Before him was an abyss of brilliant blue waterfalls of no real importance. And of course _you _know he is in the chamber of sages, but Link doesn't so shhhhh…

"Where am I--Holy Hyrule!" Link said finally getting a good look at the person before him.

"Yes quite a surprise to see yourself all grown up now isn't it?" said none other than Rauru…but Link doesn't that either…shhhhhhhhh…

"No it's not that, its…" Link cut short, paused, looked at Rauru again, and shuddered. Then realized what Rauru had just said. "I'm grown up?" Link checked himself over. He was indeed, a grown (and very handsome at that) Hylian.

"Yup," Rauru smiled a wide grin showing a tangle of yellowish green teeth. Link was, though, unperturbed…until he actually looked at the mess. He shuddered for a second time that day--

"How do you know it's day?" Link asked.

Must we go through this again?

"So," Rauru interrupted, thank goodness, "I've brought you here because--"

"You mean I didn't grow through the seven years?"

"Nope. I used my magic to bring you to the present…or future, for you." Rauru smiled again.

Link had the sensibility to look elsewhere this time.

"Cool…but wouldn't that mean that if you sent me 1,000 years into the future, I'd be dead?" asked the ever-questioning Link once more.

"It could happen…" Rauru said incoherently.

"Huh?"

"Never mind…um…oh ya, you were brought here to defeat the evil guy taking over our country and making a fool of me right now," Rauru said smiling.

Link chose a spot near one of the waterfalls to stare at. Then asked, "Hey how do you know he's making fun of you?"

Meanwhile in Gannon's tower

"Oh look I'm Rauru," a voice could be heard throughout the tower followed by a chorus of laughter.

"Oh Gannon stop!" a female voice, obviously a Gerudo's, choked through her fit of mirth on the floor as the full grown MALE Gerudo had a pillow stuffed into his uniform and some Twinkies stuffed in his mouth. The Gerudo continued to laugh which only goaded their master to dance singing "I'm a little tea-pot" very off-key. (Which is an awesome song by the way.)

Back to reali--I mean the Chamber of Sages

"Magic," Rauru shrugged.

Link nodded, ununderstandingly.

"Okay now I'll send you back to Hyrule so you can TAKE REVENGE ON HIS MAKING FUN OF ME--I-I mean save the unholy residents of our land," Ruaru said switching characters like the Happy Mask Salesman…but again neither Link nor Rauru know who that is and if we told them we would have to kill them.

And now Link is rolling his eyes at me.

"Am not!" Link said trying to hide the laughter behind his teeth.

"I am not even close to laughing!"

Yes you are.

"No I'm not!"

Are too.

"Are not!"

Are not

"Are too--WHAT!"

Ha ha!

Link growled.

"Okay no more arguing with the narrator!" said a mysterious voice.

"Okay…um, who are you?" said the dense long-eared one who is making faces at me.

complete silence

a cricket chirped

okay maybe not so complete

the narrator sighed

Link…um picked his nose

Link quickly removed his fingers from his nose

what he's still only a kid at heart

the narrator wondered how much longer it would take for the author to get bored of doing star-quotes and let the narrator narrate again

the author wondered how long it would take everyone to go insane from reading star-quotes

Link wondered about life

so did Rauru

yes Rauru was still there

the narrator sighed once more

the author marveled that nobody had cracked yet, they must all be sober

Rauru then burst out laughing falling on the floor and went into the fetal position

the author was satisfied

Link wondered if Rauru was enough for the author

the author needed to see drool

all of a sudden, there was a loud 'thunk' and Link began to drool for no reason

the author wasn't satisfied because apparently she wasn't the reason for Link's behavior

she realized that it was because of Rauru

there was another 'thunk' as the author fell from nothingness onto nothingness as she began to drool as well

the author came back to life and decided to let the narrator have the floor…

the narrator took a bow--

after the author had just a little more fun boggling Link's mind

the narrator fell anime-style

Link came back to life

the author told Link not to go into the light

Link (having never seen poltergeist) had no idea what that meant as there was no light in the chamber

Link was confuzzeld to the point of high bogglement in the head that he too fell anime-style

the author giggled

the narrator decided to steel the floor with checkered tiles

the author's mind boggled at how the narrator stole the tiled-floor

the narrator smiled

the author ACTUALLY let the narrator have the floor

the narrator then realized that there was no point in stealing the floor in the first place

the narrator gave the floor back

the author giggled evilly

the narrator smacked the narrator's head at realization as to what the narrator had just done

Link made everybody continue with the story

everyone went on with the story without star-quotes…

"Okay so Link I'll send you back to Hyrule…nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…NOW!"

"Huh?"

''SHHIIIIIIINNNGGGG'

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Sora sat in an empty alleyway, barely conscious.

All he could hear was the heavy panting of a dog, somewhere nearby.

Actually it was sitting in his lap.

Sora groggily opened his eyes, blearily looking around.

"What a dream…" he said then went back to sleep.

three days later

"What a NAP!" Sora said jumping up and stretching.

Then he saw the dog (yes the dog was still there!) sitting at his feet wagging his tail.

"Hey there wittle doggy," Sora said while rubbing the dog's furry face. Yes he said "wittle".

Sora., after thirty minutes of playing rollover, remembered what had occurred three days ago.

"Oh ya! Now I remember…Hey where'd Riku go,"

And thus, he finally left the alley way.

"Hey this is isn't my island," Sora bluntly said looking over in my direction, giving me quite a face.

"What are you talking about, I'm sneering at you!" Sora said attempting to "sneer" at me again.

"Why you--"

"HEY!"

The narrator and Sora looked up to see none other than the author standing over them.

"She won't stop making fun of me!" Sora whined, acting worse than Link.

The author looked at the narrator, noticing nothing, who seemed to be fuming.

"You really need to stop arguing with the characters." says the author.

Hey I just tell it like it is.

"Okay then, Sora stop fooling around," the author turned to Sora who was laughing.

"Why are you laughing ," the author said slowly and yet dangerously.

"Because she's," he pointed at the narrator, "mad at me for calling her a girl!"

The author stared.

The narrator left.

"Oh crap now I don't have a narrator you baka!"

Sora continues laughing, the author having to resort to star quotes in the stead of the absent narrator

"Oi these characters are giving me a headache."

the author went to go find the narrator

Sora tried to continue the story without the author or the narrator

Sora failed

Soar waited patiently for his cohorts

then laughed at the calling of them cohorts without getting yelled at

Sora waited

Sora patiently went insane

10 minutes later

"So you won't argue with the characters anymore?" asked the author of the narrator who were walking back to where Sora was.

Yes I'll do my job.

"Good! Now back to the….." the author trailed off as she looked down at Sora.

It's kind of hard to explain, but Sora was on the ground, imitating a dog and a cat at the same time while standing on his head. Hmm, must've gone insane when I left.

"OOkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy….so uh how do we snap him out of it?" the author querried.

I suggest….

"You're wrong! Here's how you snap him out of it," said none other then Riku appearing out of the shadows as he readied himself for something.

Then guess what….

No really guess.

You got it he did the--

"Chicken dance!" Riku shouted as he began to do the chicken dance, while everyone present joined in, yes including me, and disco lights appeared out of no where and everywhere at the same time.

"Ookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Now on with the story. C'mon go, go," the author said with finality.

"Alright well now you know what to do if he goes insane again, so I'm off to join the dark side….because they have candy," Riku said then disappeared into the shadows.

Alright I'll do my job.

…………..

"Sora?"

"Huh? Oh yah time to get on with the story."

Everyone present sighed.

So uh…

"Yah…"

"Okieday."

"………………….."

That was most unnecessary.

(A/N) So what do you think?


	2. mIND bOGGLDINESS

Chaptire 2: what happened

One of our heroes, Link, has found himself in what he thinks is the temple of time as that's where he was last dropped off. But with Rauru and his easily distracted mind, has sent Link reeling into an other dimension with which we all know is--

"You're not supposed to tell them yet," said the author who decided to overlooking the goings-on since the many arguments with the characters…ok I'll let them find out but it's really kind of obvious now…

"Man Ganondorf did some major remodeling here," Link said staring wide-eyed at the many buildings that surrounded the so-called Temple of Time.

Link stepped down from the mini stair case leading to a couple of doors that had moments ago held the temple of time's entrance--

"What do mean moments ago--"

Link turned around expecting to see the entrance to the temple of time. He saw the doors but beyond them was a space to match the layout of the sky above. Link gawked.

"But--but it was here! Right here," he whispered.

Told ya.

Link stepped back as if afraid to fall into the almost expecting abyss--

"Ooh look a pop rock," exclaimed the author, as she began to fish out a small pink candy piece from in between the f and g keys. Then she looked up at the screen.

"Eh heh heh oops," she said.

"Uh can we get back to me now," said the forgotten Link who was stuck in a half step away from the doors.

Link looked at the doors then quickly shut them. Then opened them a bit to see if its contents had changed. They hadn't.

Link then proceeded to step away from the closed doors, scratching his head.

"Ahoy hoy hoyu, ain't nothing past those doors but open space, laddie," a voice sounded from Link's left. He turned to see a blonde man cleaning a glass inside a shop. Link ran up to him.

"What happened to the Temple? Why isn't it there anymore?" Link questioned eagerly suspecting Gannon's magic.

"Temple? I don't know anything about no Temple," said the man, "but there is a church in the back of this place. That what you be talking about, hmm?"

"I don't know."

"Hmm, maybe you should go looking around I'm sure the people in Traverse town would be willing to help you to find the church."

"Thanks I'll go ask…wait a minute what did you say?" Link asked the man in confusion.

"I said the people here would love to help you. Though the those black midgets are no help to ya. Run off with your pocket book they will--"

"No what did you say this place was?" Link asked incredulously.

"Oh! This place is Traverse town. You must not be from around here," said the blonde guy with a hearty chuckle.

Link pondered his predicament, and considered the old man off his rocker. But he wasn't so sure when he remembered the difference in scenery from Hyrule market. Link pulled at his hair in frustration.

"Ahh! Where in all Hyrule am I?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET EM OFF! GET EM OFF!

GET EM OFF! GET EM OFF! GET EM OFF! GET EM OFF!" a voice shouted.

Now, considering Link's dilemma, you could probably guess what is happening.

"GET THEM OFF OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

That's right. The quite hilarious scene shows Sora running back and forth with a redead clinging to his back.

"QUITE STANDING THERE, TALKING, AND GET THIS THING OFF ME!"

Uh…one moment please…

3 minutes later

There!

'WHAM'

That should teach you.

The heroic narrator saves the day, knocking the slimy redead from Sora's back with a conveniently placed base-ball bat.

Back you slime!

'WHAM'

There all better now.

"MY HERO!"

Ahh get him off me!

Another 3 minutes later

Much better.

"Ouch…" grumbled Sora.

Okay on with the story.

Sora, with newly found zeal, ran out into the market of redeads--

"Uh uh I ain't going out there again!"

You have to go out into the field.

"What field?"

Uh never mind. Uh you see that broken drawbridge over there?

"Yes."

Just run as fast as you can until you get out of that doorway.

"Never!"

Please?

"NO!"

…I'll give you a cookie.

………………………

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

"Hey look a kid is running out at us." said a on looking redead.

"Ya…should we pursue?" said a second.

"….Naw let's just sit here."

"Okay you're the boss," and they promptly sat down letting the "kid" run past them.

…………………………..

"Hey there is a field here. There are no fields on my island."

That's what you know…

"Huh?"

……………………

"This isn't my island…"

"Ya it's Hyrule you nut!" said a mysterious voice in the distance.

"Huh?"

A jogger ran by with out stopping, a mask of a bunny on his face.

"I said this place is Hyrule. This ain't no island."

"Oh…"

"Don't say 'oh' like you understand when you don't," said the jogger fiercely.

…………………………….

"Can anyone please tell me this is Hyrule?"

Link was running through the town to see if the old man was insane.

"You! Please tell me this is Hyrule!"

"What are kidding? This is Traverse town now DEAL WITH IT!" A response much like everyone else's Link received. Link moped away, sighing.

"This is nuts I say!"

"Hey!"

"What now?" Link said, exasperated, as he turned around to face the newcomer.

"You're not from around here are you?" said the nameless voice.

"No what made you think that," Link said rolling his eyes. He was getting really annoyed by now.

"To think that a kid like you would be chosen to wield the sacred blade."

Link stared.

"Uh I didn't catch that."

"Really…Well then let's see that blade of yours."

"Huh," Link instinctively raised his hand to the hilt of the master sword…only the hilt wasn't there.

"What the," he exclaimed feeling around his back for the sword.

"I said let's see that blade of yours!" said the person again, this time stepping forward.

"I don't," Link grunted, practically ripping his clothes apart in search of his 'blade'.

"Don't play dumb! Now hand over the keyblade!" said the person pulling out an awesome looking gunblade, taking a fighting stance.

"I can't find--keyblade?" Link looked up in time to see the man leap toward him with the blade in tow.

"AHHHH!"

'CLANG'

At the last second, Link held up a hand protectively in front of his face. The unexpected 'clang' that followed forced Link to opened his tightly shut eyes.

"What the--"

"Ha got you!"

'GOONNNGGGG'

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

'THUMP'

Link lay on the ground, unconscious, having been clonked on the head with the gunblade.

"Heh," a satisfied chuckle escaped the lips of the man, "piece of cake."

"Wow you got him Leon," a voice, foreign to the scene, sounded from behind the man.

"Yes but this makes things a whole worse now." Leon put his gunblade away, grimacing.

"A lot worse…"

Sora was in the field still, viewing the circumstances of his quandary.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA GO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMEEE!"

…Okay he was crying like a little baby.

"Would you shut up?" a new voice entered the commotion, apparently female.

"What! I'm male!"

Sure…

"Anyway, I'm here tell lead the uh…Hero of Time, in the right direction." said the person.

"Finally someone with answers! Okay where the heck is this place?" said a zealous Sora who was presumably finished crying.

"Just ignore her, Sora," the author said to the glaring Sora.

"Uh so um, Sora is it? Well, I'm here to tell you of the tale that you have to fulfill."

"Okay. So who exactly are you?" asked Sora of the young 'man'.

"I am Sheik, of the Sheikah." said Sheik.

"Okay…what's the tale?" said Sora, ready to be over with this dream.

"Well you're the hero of time, the one with the sacred blade. And you have to save this land from certain peril, A.K.A. Ganny," replied Sheik with a smile.

"What sacred blade?"

"So your first mission is to rescue the sage of forest, and then you can continue--"

"WHAT SACRED BLADE!"

Sheik blinked.

"The one strapped to your back."

"Huh?"

Sora's hand shot to his back, feeling around. And sure enough, there lay the master sword, resting in its scabbard, waiting to used. Sora gulped.

"Uh oh…"

(A/N) so this wasn't as funny as the first chapter I realize so I'll try to keep the randomness up to par…or is there a par on randomness?


	3. Dance Dance Revolution

(A/N) Man the chapter thing is hard. But I figured it out. Watch tomorrow I'll forget how to do it…

You know this story is turning out to be really crappy…

Chaptire 3 Dance Dance Revolution

'_What is this place?' _Link said to himself as he stood in an empty space. Everything was black. It felt as if he weren't standing on anything, just floating there. Then in a luminous flash that lit up the space, Link's surroundings changed vehemently. In the stead of a black abyss, there was a great plain of grass. A grating sound behind him, made Link turn around. There, a brilliant castle of the whitest bricks stood in all its magnificence against a starry night. The grating sound was a drawbridge coming out of its slumber to let pass an inhabitant. Link looked on to see what was coming through. Sure as the castle behind it, stepped a small cloaked figure, barely perceivable against the black night. Then in a fluid movement, the figure averted its gaze toward the sky. As soon as it presumably laid its eyes on the sky, everything went dark once more.

Wait, not completely dark…the moon was there…but the stars…

'SHIIIINGG'

"Huh?"

"Oh you're awake! Goodness," came a female voice.

"Huh?" Link repeated.

"Still a little out of it, huh? Well then, wake up you lazy bum!"

Then as if in sudden realization, Link shot up in bed.

"There you go. Now that wasn't so hard was it?"

Link stared.

Then…

"AAAHHHHHHH ZEELDDDDDDAAA!"

"Huh? AHHH"

There was much hullabaloo and crashing of furniture.

"What the hell is going on in here?"

Silence.

"I told you this costume doesn't look good on me Squall!" the female voice directed at the open doorway, as she promptly began to undress herself.

"WHAT!"

"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Link and the author in unison.

"YUFFIE NOT HERE!"

"FINE!"

'SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMM!'

An awkward silence with much starring, sighing, wiping of brows, and blinking took place.

"Sooooo…" said Link breaking the silence, sending the author back to her dwelling, while under the confines of the blankets on his bed.

'Squall' sighed, covering his face with a hand.

"There How's that?" Yuffie asked opening the door.

Link gave a thumbs up and Squall still had his face in his hand leaning against the wall.

"So uh--"

'BLAST OFF! IT'S PARTY TIME! AND WE ARE LIVING IN A FASHION NATION! BLAST OFF IT'S PARTY TIME AND WHERE THE--"

"Woops." said Yuffie as she clicked the off button on the radio next to her.

"WHAT WAS THAT!" Link screamed from under the bed. The blaring radio had scared the poor Hylian into submission.

"Oh sorry, it was my radio. I forgot I had it on a wake up timer." said Yuffie with a smile.

"WHAT THE HECK IS A RADIO!" Link cried still from under the bed.

Yuffie stared wide-eyed.

"Oh you poor depraved soul!" she cried then turned the radio back on and told Link to come out. Then proceeded to explain what a radio was. Link was looking at it in all angles. Then asked if he could push a button. Yuffie nodded.

He pushed a button.

Squall had his face in both his hands now as Yuffie and Link began to dance to Russian techno.

"Numa Numa yay!" they sang in unanimity.

Squall announced that he needed fresh air.

Yuffie began to answer, but Squall had already left. And they were going into the second verse.

As Squall shut the door he heard them singing-

"Myah he myah who myah ha myah ha ha!"

…If only Tim and Vince could see them now…they'd be so proud….

Squall was just thinking over why the keyblade had to chose a stupid charge like Link, when he heard a scream.

He looked down the alley to find a young woman running. Her pursuer was a little black midget with a helmet.

'_Heartless!' _he thought and rushed through the door…to find Yuffie and Link doing the Chicken dance, un-purchased disco lights on the ceiling. Squall knew what was coming and he quickly tried to run out the door again…but…

"HA SQUALL! NO ONE CAN RESIST THE TEMPTATIONS OF CHICKEN DANCE!" Link shouted.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he cried as his limbs began to move with out his permission. First, his hands began to form little talking beaks. Then, both his arms made wings like a chicken and began to flap to the music emitting from the radio. Squall, knowing what was next, closed his eyes, wishing for the world to end. He felt his hands move downward…

"THAT'S IT LEON! NOW CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP VUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

………………………………...

Somewhere in Hyrule field…..

"My feet hurt!" whined Sora.

"Is he always like this?" Sheik asked the narrator. The narrator nodded.

"I don't wanna be a hero!" he continued.

"Look man you would have been a hero either way so shut you mouth and DEAL WITH IT." shouted the author from her hiding place as the narrator experienced severe De ja vu.

"Fine!" Sora pouted, the narrator fighting off the de ja vu with success…until a jogger ran by shouting at Sora for saying 'fine when he really didn't mean it………………………………...---

"Are you having fun?" asked the author who was staring down at the narrator.

No I was in a coma.

"Oh…"

"Don't say 'oh' like you understand it when you don't!"

SHUT UP YOU!

Gunshots could be heard.

Much better.

"Ooh flowers!"

Every stared at Sora.

Everyone ran after Sora.

Sora picked the flower.

Sora dropped the flower.

The flower turned out to be a deku baba.

Sora screamed like a little girl.

The author tripped with mirth.

The narrator, laughing as well, jumped on the 'flower'.

Sheik…was still standing where they had left her.

She-- I mean he is apparently not counted as everyone.

Sheik chased the narrator.

The narrator ran away laughing.

Sora had entered the fetal position and had vowed to never touch another flower never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, again.

The author made every body continue with the "story" for once.

They continued on command.

But it wasn't their turn anymore so they all took a lunch break.

…………………………..

Traverse town.

"Why did you kill her?"

A shouting match roared through the hotel. Oh, I forgot to mention that they were all in a hotel. So I'll say it now. They were all in a hotel.

"Because she was of no real importance to the story in the first place, you have to save the world, AND SHE FREAKIN' MADE ME DO THE CHICKEN DANCE, YOU NUT!"

……………………………

"Eh makes sense to me." the gullible Link shrugged.

…………………………..

I'm reporting you to the police Leon!

"NOOOOOOOO DON'T they have cooties!" said the brave Leon, cowering in fear.

Fine.

"YAY!"  
For now.

"…crap."

"So Leon, why did you come in here if you knew we were dancing?" asked Link.

"Oh that's right," Leon snapped his fingers and rushed to the balcony.

"There was a heartless chase a girl out here--"

They both stared at the corpse of the girl lying in the street below them.

"AND NOW BECAUSE OF YOU, TWO INNOCENT SOULS HAVE BEEN SMIGHTED THIS VERY NIGHT!" shouted Link pointing an accusing finger at Leon.

Leon rolled his eyes.

"C'mon let's go track those heartless."

"Smartest thing you've said all night," said Link jumping off the balcony, Leon close behind. Close enough to hit him in the back of the head.

………………………………...

'CCRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKK'

"Hey he's gone!" Sora exclaimed when the bright flash had dissipated.

"Um actually no he's over there," the author said, pointing in the direction of the running person a little to their right.

"Oh," said Sora.

"Don't say 'oh' like you under--"

'CLOOOOONK'

Quiet you, said the narrator holding the masked joggers head.

"Okay. So he said to go to Kacareekoh village to get a special item…kinda vague innit," said Sora.

"Yup well we can't help you anymore so uh continue with story," said the author smiling sheepishly as she disappeared.

I too cannot assist, sorry.

"Wait! I don't know where to go!"

'POOF'

Sora looked down to see a map lying at his feet.

'Oh this helps a lot!" Sora shouted at the sky.

"Hey what does this button do?" I don't know. Why don't you press it.

'CLICK'

"Huh?"

"SHIIIIIIING'

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

………………………………...

"You go that way!" shouted an exasperated looking Leon to Link.

"Okay!" he replied.

The direction that Leon pointed, led to an alley with a big yellow door at the end.

"Okay through the door I go then," Link said to the empty alley.

He pushed the doors open to find--

"Nothing."

Well ya I was about to say that…

"Sure."

…shut up.

With the key blade over his shoulder in a Sora-like way, he walked down some steps, and into a slight clearing. He stood in the middle of clearing, tapping his foot.

"There's nothing here," said the impatient Link.

Show's what you know.

"What?"

Just wait.

………………………………... ….

"QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKKKKK!"

"Huh?"

'KERPLOP!'

"Oof--" x3

"Oh my head--Oh the key!"

"We found it!"

"Yayness!"

Then there was a rumbling sound.

"Uh oh…" x3

(A/N) so got enough of Link doin' the CD? Probably not, well there MIGHT be more to come…

And the Russian techno dance they were dancing to was called "Numa Numa" if you go to google and type in numa numa remix, you'll know who Tim and Vince are….it's oober funny you must see!…………Oh and the "BLAST OFF IT'S PARTY TIME!" song, is called BYOB by system of a down they also did a legend of Zelda song…the "Link he come to town" one. I might use that later on….maybe….


	4. Navi and Duck Wielding Mice

(A/N) I forgot to say it before but I do not own anything but the narrator but she wishes for you not to know that

Alright already on chappy 4 maybe I'll finish this one

It's funny because I always start the first chaptire of a fan fiction or poem/story but I never continue after that so I'll try to finish this one

Although I'm still deciding on whether I should draw this out or wrap it up in a couple of weeks

GO NUMA NUMA BOOYA AWSOMENESS! -clears throat- um so continuing…

Chaptire 4: The coming of Navi and Duck-wielding mice

We'll start with Sora this time.

"I still don't know where to go!" he yelled at nothingness again.

"You know your gabbling narrating is no help to me whatsoever." I know.

'BEEP BEEP'

"Huh, what was that?" Sora asked jerking his head to-and-fro in search for the indiscriminate sound.

'BEEP BEEP'

It turned out that it was the narrator's reminder watch. She looked down at it and…oh.

"What is it?" Sora asked looking at the narrator with curiosity.

Um…it's a note from the author and she said that you could use Navi as a guide rather than the happening of a plot twist.

………..

"What's a navee?"

…………………….

You can't be serious…

"Oh I am," said the author with a hellish grin, her eyes glowing bright red.

I'm here too you know, whined the narrator.

"All the better,"

"What's a navee?" the unsuspecting Sora asked again.

Oh joy…

'POOOOOF'

"Hello! Hey! Look! Listen! Watch out!…"

………………………………...

"Ouch…" Link said rubbing his back through the rumbling.

"Oh no what's happening?" shouted a very short duck-looking person.

The rumbling continued for a few seconds longer, then everything stopped.

But two thins were different about the scene than before.

1:There were giant blocks, uh blocking every exit.

2:THERE WERE BLACK MIDGETS WITH HELMETS SURROUNDING THEM!

"Yikesies…"Link trailed.

The black things started to close in on the soon-to-be trio.

"Uh oh," stated the taller yet-to-be-named figure who had also landed on Link.

But then, to everyone's relief, the black guys retreated and all did awesome impossible-for-their-size back-flips over the barricade.

Everyone sighed.

Then the rumbling started again.

Then a giant-in-cahoots-with-the-midgets appeared in pieces before them. And conformed into a actual giant-in-cahoots-with-the-midgets. The two new-comers, prepared to fight. The two new-comers died. X.x

Link cracked his fingers and just threw his key blade at the monstrosity's balls.

"Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooochie," it SAID then keeled over dead.

"That wasn't so hard," said a now familiar quacking voice. The fluffy midget must have had cheat codes on…tsk, tsk…

"Link!" shouted a distant voice we all know as Leon.

"Yes?" Link asked sounding pleased with himself.

"I just came to say," he was out of breath from running up to Link, "that the script says that you have to go along with these two-points at Donald and Goofy- in a ship and fly off to save other worlds.

………………………

"Kind of blunt, innit?" Link whispered behind a hand to Goofy as Donald was too short.

"Okay?" Leon asked expectantly.

"Ok--"

"Hold on a minute!" shouted Donald.

Everyone looked at him, including Aireth and Cid, who had appeared just to be there.

"He can't come on our ship!" he argued.

"Why not Goofy asked suddenly, as if coming out of a daze, and making everyone present jump.

"Because he's too mellow!" he said with unnecessary shouting.

"You should've seen him earlier," shrugged Leon.

"Uh oh…what do we do? We have to get Link out of this place somehow," Aireth whispered to the others who were all huddled together.

"Hey what's that supposed to mean," Link whined, but no body paid any attention.

They talked it over and came up with no ideas to persuade the persistent duckling. Then Link was struck with a scheme.

"Hey I've got a plan," he whispered to the others and there was a hush.

………………………….

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!"

Oh boy…

"Hello! Hey! Listen! Look! Watch out!"

-sigh-

The narrator was watching Sora being followed around by the obnoxious fairy, Navi, when she noticed something.

Hey that's not the real Navi! The real Navi can actually speak English-uh I mean Hylian.

She was right, of course, this Navi was a prototype. Yet still the same amount of annoyance.

"DEOS THAT REALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS STUPID THING TRYING TO MAKE ME GO INSANE!" Sora shouted.

I'm not allowed to talk to you.

"…grr,"

……………………………..

-The plan--

"Once there was a bear, who was very sad," said Link in a very melodramatic voice, Donald and Goofy (who had been introduced to Link and their names were given, etc. earlier, but I'm just to lazy to type that out.) were each sitting on chairs, that appeared as soon as Link began his "story", listening intently to every word Link said.

"And no one was able to cheer him up," continued Link, "and one day, a comedy relief, tap dancing bunny in a top hat, with a required cane came along and tap danced for the sad bear for hours. But the bear still would not smile. An indifferent turtle who had been watching the tap dancing bunny, decided 'Screw this,' and left. But, as most turtles don't do but can, he went at top speed. As a result though, oh it's so sad, the turtle going so fast was virtually frictionless to the pavement. So he…-sniff-HE SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED!" Donald and Goofy both gasped.

"But that's not all. Soon after the indifferent turtle's tragic incident, AN EVIL FAT MICKEY MOUSE APPEARED! And he planned to take over the world!" Donald and Goofy both hid behind their chairs in fear.

"But then a hero appeared by the name of-um…how about…SORA! Yes that will work. Sora a fearless hero with a blade in the shape of a key -why not- ventured to stop the evil spork and rubberduckie wielding obese mouse."

"'I shall stop you!' he shouted at the mouse. But Mickey wouldn't give up."

"'Noooo!' cried the mouse. 'But why?' Sora asked the evil monster."

"'Because I am evil! Vuhahaha!' said Mickey and Sora was sad. But there was more."

"'I am your father,' said the evil, fat mouse with a hearty laugh."

"' Noooooooooooooooooo!' Sora cried."

"Then an M&M appeared on the scene. 'Eat me!' says he, and Mickey shot him. Then The M&M was mad and he got an M&M army."

"The green M&M came, too. 'Slut,' they called her. 'Whore…'"

"But the green M&M had a come back. 'You know you want me,' she said to the crowd. And there was silence, And the sad bear was like 'WTF mates?'"

"And the much appreciated comedy relief cow emerged. And he was all 'WTF mates?' And Sora asked, 'Why are you Australian?…….I stab you now."

"But the cow was all, 'Nooooooooooooo' and he ran off into the sun set. But Sora soon caught up to him…bumbumbum…"

"And the Evil Mickey reined until someone came to stop him."

"'I shall defeat you' said a new cow with, oddly enough, the same hair cut as Sora…hmm…"

"'Ok'" said the evil Mickey."

"Then a Lehprecon showed up, and he was like 'Yo waz G?' and he wore a green hat with a G on it. But then the Lephrecon was actually a horse, still a rainbow appeared out of nowhere."

"And then two nukes were launched at the sad bear. And the bear was smote from the earth (if that's where they were all from)"

"The end." Link finished surprised to see both Donald and Goofy holding each other and crying their eyes out.

"That was so beautiful," Goofy said, while wiping a tear from his eye.

"True true," Donald agreed.

"….You guys are nuts," Link said.

………………………………...

Sora off somewhere in Hyrule sneezed.

"Oh great now someone's talking about me," said he.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!" the fake Navi's soundtrack was skipping. Oh the horror.

'BEEP, BEEP'

Not again.

"What is it?"

She found the real Navi in the canyon waterfall trapped in a bottle.

'POOF'

"Hello!"

Yup

'ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP'

"Hey! The fake Navi disappeared.!" Sora announced with glee.

…yay.

"So where are we at in the journey?" Navi asked.

They now had to search for the "special object" that Sheik mentioned.

"Oh," said Navi hiding a book behind her back looking suspicious.

Hey you that's a cheatbook!

"N-no it isn't," the fairy stumbled.

"Hey I'm flying I can't stumble!" shouted the fairy.

Here we go again…um I meant the stumbled as in like you stuttered.

"What are you talking about?" …oh boy.

Navi continued her case with the narrator, and Sora had already started for the entrance to Kakerioko, as pushing the button had transported them all there in the first place.

"Halt!"

"Huh?" Sora questioned of the guard that had stopped him.

"I said 'Halt!'"

"I know what you said, but why did you stop me?" Sora looked over his shoulder for help, but Navi was still arguing with the narrator.

"Because," said the guard, bringing Sora's attention back to him, "you have to say the password."

"Uh oh," said Sora tapping his chin.

"If you don't know then leave." the impatient guard said.

"Fine, umm is it…password?"

"……………………."

"Well? Did I get it?"

"…Y-you may pass…" the guard gritted reluctantly.

"Really? Cool!" Sora ran through the entrance.

"Hey where'd Sora go?" asked Navi interrupting the narrator with her realization- hey wait up!

"Halt!"

"Huh?"

"I said 'Halt!"

"I know what you said but why did you stop me?"

"Because, you have to say the password."

"Uh oh.."

Okay…umm…

"Ummm…is it…password?"

"Grrr…"

"Yay," said Navi and she went through the gate closely followed by the narrator.

"They spent that whole evening searching for a "special item" but with Sheik's vague details (as usual) they were lost for clues.

"What exactly did she- I mean he say the object was?" asked Sora after three days of searching, sporting a rather nasty looking cut above his left eye he received from a vengeful Hylian guard. You know I think you should get that checked out…

"Shut up…"

"You know he never said what the item WAS," objected Navi.

Yes he is a cheater. And so are you! Shouted the narrator pointing an accusing finger at the luminous fairy who again had the cheatbook out.

"Who me?" said Navi hiding the book again.

"No dice. Even I saw you this time." Sora said.

Hand it over.

"Fine."

Mwee hee hee…

"Hey there young man," came a worn voice.

Sora looked around to see an old man on a cane.

"Yes?"

"I think I know what you be looking for," said the old man with an almost childish grin, except it was hard for him to tell because his face looked a mangled mess. (hint, hint)

"You do?" Sora asked hopefully.

"Oh yes. I be hearin' stories about a cool gadget with a hook and chain. Quite a springy thing I hear." he said grinning again.

"Tell me where I can find it." Sora said practically jumping up and down in his excitement.

"Yes. I hear it can be found…wait," he stopped himself. Sora looked crestfallen.

"What is it?" he asked eager to know more about the springy-thing.

"First you have to promise you'll do something for me in turn,"

"Anything," Sora said once more in eagerness.

"Okay, it's said you can find it in the graveyard."

"Oh…"

"Now for your end of the bargain," the old man smirked with hilarity.

"…okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy…"

"Alright, first hold your hands out like this…yes like that."

"And?"

"Now bend forward ever so slightly…there."

"Okkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy--"

"DONATIONS FOR THE POOR Beggar BOY." the old man shouted before disappearing.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…"

………………………….

"o--okkay we-- we-re here okay let's go," said Sora hurriedly.

"Oh no you don't! You have to go and get the springy-thing," retorted Navi, taking Sora by the shirt and pulling him back through the graveyard gates.

"But I don't wanna!" he shouted defiantly.

………………

"Okay, now what?" Sora asked expectantly from the fairy, folding his arms.

"I don't-HEY LOOK A HOUSE!" said the fairy flying over to a log-uh "house".

Once inside (which was a tight fit) they looked around to find a book.

"Oooh look." Navi said opening it to the last page.

"It says, 'You must find da thingy, yes pull back grave with flowers…"

"………………"

"Well let's go find that grave." said Navi a little too enthusiastically.

"………………"

Navi flew out the door, and Sora still stared at the diary's writing.

"………………"

Navi flew back in to find Sora in the fetal position in a corner of the uh "house".

"Uh Sora the thing won't budge-"

"Then go blow it up or something! I am NOT going out there."

"………………"

"Okay," and she left.

"………………"

'BOOOOOOOOOOM'

O.O

Navi flew once again back in to the little house.

"Okay we can go in now."

"……..You can't be serious…"

"C'MON!" Navi growled and pulled Sora, fetal posit and all, out the door and into the graveyard.

"NO WAIT I--AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Navi had dropped Sora down the hole, then flew in after him.

"ouucchhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieee," said he who had fallen on his bu--excuse me, rear.

"Quite your whining," Navi said.

"Meh," said Sora brushing himself off. Then looking up to see--

"It's you!"

"Aye 'tis me!" said the old man with a mangled grin of glee.

Bum bum bum…

(A/N)

So, so far it's been pretty random. Please r/r!

Link's story is an original from the mind of me best friend that she conjured up in French class.

Oh and the cow was female

And I stole "DONATIONS--" from Furuba, or Fruits basket as most of us know…

And I just realized that the kingdom Hearts journey is longer, so I'm gonna have to draw out the Ocarina of Time

Well byes for now.


	5. Not Guilty

(A/N) I've been grounded so um ya. To make it up to you ahead of time, I just kept writing…they said I was grounded from the internet, not the "computer" so…

Hope its funny

Chaptire 5 (wow I'm this far already?) umm…The monotonous spork of doom…yes...no

5. Not guilty

Link um…."accidentally" crashed their ship at being so excited about flying into space, into the ever lackluster Alice in Wonderland scene.

"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNEEE!"

"I don't see anything wrong with it," responded Link indifferently.

They were standing before the wreckage, but as Link stated, there didn't seem to be anything wrong with it.

"Nothing wrong! Nothing wrong? There's a freakin' scratch!" Donald screamed his head off trying to get the point to Link…but he didn't see anything.

"Wait, you ,mean this thing right here?" Link asked as he bent down to examine a speck about the size of the point of a needle.

"NO I WAS TALKING ABOUT THAT!" shouted Donald as he pointed at a huge gash on the other side of the ship. Link stared in astonishment.

"That was already there!" Link said turning to the duck.

"WAS NOT!" quacked a response.

"Oh ya? Look at these," Link said pulling out some pictures he had taken earlier with a camera he bought out of sheer curiosity. Donald looked at the pictures. Every one of them had a large gash on the side of his ship. Donald gave the pictures back then reached into one of his many pockets. Out came a pill bottle and he stuff one of the white things down his throat. His face began to lighten in color from the red it was turning.

Goofy all the while was practicing the chicken dance with small gestures for later use.

…………………….

"SORA GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!"

'SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPP'

Silence.

Well up until Sora burst out laughing.

"Oh shoot he's gone insane," Navi whispered to herself as she, the narrator, and the old man watched as Sora ran around laughing his head off.

Well Navi had been the one that had slapped him.

"Oh geez," said the old man in the grave as he covered his face.

"Have you people learned nothing yet?" said a mysterious voice.

"Hey it's those things from my dreams!" cried Sora.

"What?" came the mysterious voice again.

"Yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay- wait a minute…" Sora said dancing around for joy then squatting down to look at the thing from his dream.

"What?" asked the thing from Sora's dream nervously.

"You are the thing from my dram but how did you get here?" Sora thought for a moment, then with a snap of his finger a light bulb appeared over his head.

I know! My dreams must have special powers and I can make my dreams real!" Sora said then he remembered a dream he had once about a fishing hat with glitter and feathers on it. He looked around to see the same hat from his dream on the old man's head. Sora grinned evilly.

"You know I first imagined it on your head," yes, I know…

And then great floods fell into their chamber, along with a hail of diamonds falling from the nowhere, with clouds the blackest anyone had seen any. For the main course, a giant hippo wearing a corset, floated, that's right floated, into the room through a nearby wall shouting something about where's Waldo. And all this came from the recesses of Sora's mind not to be trapped their for all eternity…………okay so none of that really happened but you imagined it and thought it happened up until this point. Sora pouted in a corner sad that his creations were nowhere to be found.

"You have no narrator morals whatsoever," said Sora crossing his arms.

Hey! Mr. Pokeylope told me to, okay? Mr. Pokeylope always tells me what to do.

"……….ooooooooooookkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy…"

Tinker-Bell!

"….What?"

I like grapes.

"…WTF…"

-narrator scowls-

"I've got a "Vote 4 Gretchen" tee!"

Hey It's my job to be random, the narrator snarls at the author.

The author cries.

"Peter Pan can fly."

I just talked to her about being random.

"I know. I was just proving that I can be more random then just ab- Hey look a chicken!"

Everyone stared.

Uh oh…

"CUUUUUUUUUUUUCCKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Double uh oh…"

"Hey guys what's it doing?" asked the naive Sora as he watched the narrator and author back up a few steps.

"Guys?-- OOWWW!"

RUN! The narrator cried as she turned around and ran head-on into a wall.

"Uh…there is no where to run…" yah I can see that.

"HELP!"…I suppose we should help him out…?

"I suppose…but lets see where this goes first," …okay.

………………………………...

"How do you plead?" said an annoying stumpy lady (if that's what she is…).

"Not guilty," said none other (I love saying that) than Alice.

"Not guilty?" said the old hag leaning forward, brandishing her stupid heart wand. Try waving that thing in my face, sista…

"Yes, not guilty--"

"Silence!" she shouted.

"She's not your culprit." said Donald looking at his hand.

"What are you talking about? She hasn't even said the charges yet." Link hissed at Donald.

"What's that in your hand there Donald?" asked Goofy.

"Umm nothing--" Donald said, doggedly. Link gasped.

"He's reading the script! Guards! Seize him!" Link shouted at the card warriors surrounding the area. They immediately charged at Donald, then jumped up to dog-pile him. But then everything froze except Link, Donald, Goofy.

"WTF?" asked Link.

"I pushed pause," announced the author who held a remote in her hand.

"WTF let me see that," jumped Link.

"NO it's mine!" shouted the author protectively as she cradled her remote.

"Fine then. Now unpause so Donald can get squishied."

"No Donald has to go to timeout for reading from the script and almost totally ruining this scene, but then thank goodness for the rewind button, I can redo it." said the author as she pushed a button that made Donald disappear and everything else rewind except Link and Goofy.

"Silence!" continued the Queen-like person as if nothing had happened.

"You are accused of trying to steal my precious heart.!" she finished lamely as everyone gasped.

"She's not your culprit!" Link shouted mimicking Donald.

"What do you mean of course she is!" Said the queen directing her attention to Link. I can already see this is formulating into a shouting match.

"Why do you think she is the one who attempted to steal your heart?" Link asked.

"Who do you think you are her lawyer?" shouted the queen-like person.

"What? Her, um I dunno I guess I am." said Link as he jumped into a conveniently placed phone booth. When he emerged, he was wearing a green suit and was shuffling some papers to make them straighter.

Okay, that was lame, I'm rewinding that…

"NO MY REMOTE!" cried the author.

Oh, the hard way it is.

"Uh oh…" said Link as he jumped back into the conveniently placed phone booth and changed back into his regular clothes.

-Sounds of hissing, clawing and crashing of furniture could be heard-

"'Okay um I think they're gonna be out for a while so we might as well get the story going by ourselves,' said Goofy to Link who is now narrating."

"'…This is going to be difficult…' said Goofy."

"Very much so…"

"Let's switch over to Sora and see how he's doing."

"'Hey we're not supposed to know about Sora,' gasped Goofy."

"Um that's right, we're not, but since I'm the narrator now, I know everyth--HEY how did you know about Sora?"

"Ummmmmmmmmmm"

-------------------------------------------------

Back where that author and the narrator had "severed" ties, Sora had been rapidly defeated by the vicious Cucco's and lay dead in the old man's uh grave.

"…dude, that's not funny," said Sora lifting his head off the cucco feather-strewn floor showing all sings of undeadness.

"Is that even a word?" it is now…

Sora rolls his eyes at the non-existent narrat- wait, I've been through this before. I do exist, I do exist I do exist…

"……………………………...okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy…"

"Woah what happened?" said Navi dazedly, flying around in loopy patterns.

"It's a long story," no it's not, an angry swarm of blood-thirsty cuccos attacked you two.

"That was long," whined Sora. ………………….

Okaaaaaaay….

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYY!"  
Huh?

"Huh?"

"Who said that?" asked Navi.

"T'was ME you imprudent dolts!"

Everyone turned toward the floating old man and stared.

I'm getting tired of your petty bickering. You," here he pointed at the narrator, "shouldn't even be here!"

Well, I -uh--

"Disappear! NOW!" okay, okay gosh…

'POOF'

"That's better, okay now you," here he points at Sora, "you must race me," he finalized his small speech with finality.

"Ahh but I don't want to!" bleated Sora.

The ghost blinked.

"Okay fine then you race me," he said turning to Navi.

"Okay," said an excited looking Navi.

(A/N): She's wanted a big part in the story ever since…well since it began. Said Nintendo was leaving her out of everything so bear with us we have to go through this too y'know…

…………………..

"Alright, ready?" Sora asked, his arms spread out in front of the two hovering opponents.

They nodded amidst their wavering.

"Set?"

They made fists in the air.

"……………………………"

Zzz

…

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

"…wtf?"

"SORA WAKE UP AND START THE RACE!"

"hUH? UM READY STEADY Go! Wakawakadoodooya!"

"……………………."

This whole scene made no sense.

"Disappear!"

Fine I'm going…

…………………

…………….

…………

…

………………………………...

"I DIDN'T HERE ANY POOF SOUND!"

OKAAY!

'POOF'

………………………………...

"THERE! Uh I mean there."…………….

"Okay so uh ready set go…"

'ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM'

No one saw it coming…..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"LOOK! He's not wearing the suit anymore, so you can just chill." cried the author.

What are you talking about? You know damn well I only came up with that excuse to get the remote.

"Grrrrr…"

"Um we're having a little difficulty here, um, so could you just forgive each other and maybe, oh I don't , CONTINUE ON WITH THE FREAKIN' STORY!" Link said finally getting the author and the narrator's attention.

"Go then. Start the story but I'm warning you now-"

Oh yah? What're you gonna do?

The author's eye twitchedbad sign.

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" Link shouted.

Everyone looked up. Even the author who's eye was still twitching ominously.

……………………..

……………………

…………………

………………

…………

………

………

……..

….

…

Me thinks we should the chapter right about now.

"That is a good idea but let's go see how Sora's doing first." said Link knowingly.

Alright. Is that okay, author?

"Yah go ahead, I'll be in my bunk." said the author wearily and taking deep breaths every now and then.

Alrighty then…

--------...---------847566847586----------------------------!

Sora had been waiting patiently, keep himself busy (by picking his nose), as Navi and the dead man raced.

He had just started on his second nostril, when Navi flew back with a triumphant smile plastered on her lips.

Sora hurriedly removed his fingers from his nose, choosing to ignore the narrator's statements about his habits. Don't feel bad Sora, the author has a habit of challenging guys to burping contests.

"Yah and I'm darn proud of it, too." The author said.

-sigh-

"What're you so happy about?" Sora asked the smug-looking fairy.

"I won the race."

"Okay not so surprised there, but how did you get back so fast? You only went in there about thirty seconds ago."

The fairy smiled bigger.

Just then the dead man-

"I have a name you know!"

Okay, okay geez.

"It's Dampe"

Fine.

Just then, a flustered looking Dampe flew through the entrace heaving great gasps of air. Wait a tic. How can you be breathing? I thought you were dead.

"It's to make it look like he had really worked hard to beat Navi." said the author pompously.

……………………………….

And we're ending this chapter now.

Byes!

"You get back here! I'm gonna--"

'FWOMP'

"Oh boy…" said Sora as he slapped his forehead. The narrator stood next to him as they watched the author get up off the floor.

You think I went a little over board?

Sora thought for a minute.

"….Naaaaaaaaaahhh." he grinned as the narrator continued to run from the angry author.

Sorry I havn't updated. And that's really all I can say. I've been having a really bad couple of weeks. Stress Stress Stress! I can't stand it. Well I'm not gonna waste my time to try and get sympathy out of you all. Unitl the next, bye.


	6. The lost KeyBlade

Chaptire six….was there a chaptire five I can't remember…

Wait…

It'll come to me…

Oh YA!

Chaptire six: French Narrator

"What?#?$! Said Sora.

"You heard me," retorted the author..

Can we get on now?

"Ya Sora. Quite wining and GO!"

"…grr," mumbled Sora.

……………..

"Okay that doesn't work. Ummm…OH how about…

Chaptire six…The lost key blade.

Okay annnnnd start!

--

So Link and Goofy both set forth on the journey, have quite an amount of difficulty with out Donald there (/sarcasm/). They had just received a great deal of thanks for the heroism in their heroic acts against the evil jest-type-monster-thing and saved the Queens Heart after attempting to steal it several times. They were saying their goodbyes as they boarded their ship, when Donald appeared to everyone's dismay.

"HEY WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he squawked. Link and Goofy groaned.

They later found out that Alice went missing, though nobody cared.

So Link, Goofy, and Donald, set off in their gummi ship to the next world. Link, who also had a cheat book of his own, which he stole from the narrator, foresaw the catastrophe of the jungle. So when they approached it, he simple stole the controls and attempted to bypass it. But with out the knowledge to fly the thing, ended up crashing there anyway.

"Well that's a jip," said Link who had fallen off the ship, still clutching the steering wheel.

He then got a good look around at his surroundings.

"Hey I don't wanna be attacked by a tiger!" cried Link as he flipped through the pages of the cheat- you know what just give me that.

"NO!" MINE" and hence, a war over the cheat book's possessor ensued.

-Three minutes later-

Link was pouting on the ground of the tree house he had landed in after crashing. The narrator now in possession of the cheat book.

Dun nuh nuh nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!

"You got the cheat book . This wonderful book full of helpful hints and a thorough walktrough of our hero's adventures will most surely get you through your quest without flaw."

…huh?

"I just wanted to say something," sniffled a random heartless as he shuffled away. Link and the narrator stared.

"Okaaaaaaaaay…"

"Can we like go to Sora's end now?" asked another random smurf- I mean heartless.

"Okay so back to the plot," interjected the author and everything sped up to its original story line.

'KEEERRRPLUUUMP!'

"WTF?" asked the scared Hylian as a massive chameleon type monster looking thingy swept into view. Then, after remembering the contents of the cheat book that had moments ago been held by his unworthy hands ah-…what?

"That was most unnecessary," Link replied in liking with his incredulous look.

That's it your no longer allowed to criticize the way I do my job, got it bub?

"…………………………"

This is just sad, sniffled the narrator.

But anyway the chameleon type monster looking' thing sprang into view and-QUITE LOOKIN' AT ME LIKE THAT!

"Geez, sorry."

…knocking the bageebers out of poor Link. And then Link remembered that the cheat book said that the chameleon type monster looking' thing wasn't supposed to come until later on, but that really doesn't matter right now be-

"Cause I say I'm wanna come now! Let's dance--uh I mean we must fight you and I , Vuahahaha!"

"Must we?"

"Yes we must."

"You know I'm gonna beat you down though," said Link in a "I'm gonna kick your ass" sort of matter.

"…-sniffle- I know," pouted the chameleon type-- you know.

"Hey you know what? We never got around to explaining Link's dream near the beginning of this story," pointed out the author. Everyone else looks up.

"Oh yaaaaa," they all say. -shakes head-

"Back to me now!" cried lonely Link. Everyone else remembered where they were supposed to be and got on their way. That means you too, Skullkid.

"Aww," he sulked away.

"Furababies!" cried the author.

"We fight now!"

"Okay," said Link and he pulled out the…hey!

"I told you this would turn out bad," whispered Donald to the author who nodded.

"Excuse me, but you and I have got some copyright issues to deal with," said the monotonous spork, tapping the author on the shoulder. O.o

"Where's my key blade?" whined the keyblade-less Link as he held up his ever threatening twig of terror…oh the horror.

"Haha victory is surly mine now!"

"Think again, bozo!"

"Huh? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-gasp-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H H H H H H H H H H!"

"What happened," asked the author.

"I, don't know…" replied Link.

They watched as what's-his-face appeared saying he would shoot us all down, but 'unfortunately' for him, he appeared right where the defeated chameleon monster type thing was falling.

'KERTHUUUUUUUUUUMP'

"Ooo that's gotta hurt," said Link wincing. Skullkid nodded. Hey I thought I told you to buzz off!

"Okay, okay, fine, gosh," he stomped off.

"Hey! Aren't you forgetting something?" an unknown voice erupted behind Link. He spun around to see-

"It's-"

------------

"Hey what's this button do?"

'click'

'CLACKACLACKACLACKA'

'THUUUNK'

"Hey it's not doing anything," said Sora as he held down the button on the gadget Navi had won for him.

"What a jip," he said as he let go of the button.

'SNUP!'

"Huh- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Navi watched as Sora sailed up into the Forest Temple's entrance…then burst out laughing. Amidst her mirth though, she heard a faint growling. Her tear-filled eyes turned three times bigger than normal, yet she still laughed.

But was silenced by an earsplitting squeal that shattered glass in Kokiri Village and those poor houses that sat too near the far east side of Kakariko.

Navi clamped her hands over her ears but it was too late. The few nano seconds of exposure to the piercing scream, burst Navi's eardrums, leaving her as deaf as...well I can't compare it to anything so you'll just have to take my word for it when I say she couldn't hear anything.

--

Sora lay on the grassy floor surrounded by those two hairy, monstrous, evil, rabid, bulky, hulking, gray--

"I GET IT!"

--s.o.b.'s who were leering over him with hungry looks. With one small eep, Sora took a deep breath and closed his eyes…and let out that earpeircing squeal of doom, killing the two beast's immediately. He screamed for quite a while with out the knowledge of when to stop, for no one dared approach him.

THIS IS GONNA TAKE A WHILE! Cried the narrator as she stuck her head in a hole.

-------------------

"-Tarzan!"

"Ya…uh how'd you know," said the notorious Tarzan as he scratched the back of his head.

"It said it in the, uh never mind, um I heard from Jane that were here," said Link. A very confusing moment.

They stood there staring at each other as the sun began to set….Link get on with it now.

They still stood in a stupor.

"Oh great they froze!" the agitated author threw her hands up in the air in exasperation.

"Will you people never learn?" a mysterious voice amplified from the shadows…Ooo I know what this means.

Riku appeared from corner of the room and took a stance.

"The way you get them out of it is like so," he said as brought his hands up to make little mouths. Before cue, Donald, Goofy, and random un-bought disco lights appeared in a stand still, awaiting Riku's go. Then the music started.

w00t!

--

"Oh Romeo."

"Oh Juliet."

"Please save me from my horrid father who wishes to choose my bride-What are you doing here?" asked the girl of the narrator and the author.

"Leaving," said the author as she drug the narrator behind her.

…well, that was random.

----------------

"Y'know, this is rather easy," commented Sora. He was right though. After the brave (or rather deaf) Navi shook Sora out of his screaming state, and I finally got my head out of that hole, Sora resumed to the temple beyond the dead wolfos. Inside was a long corridor and at the end was a door. Placed in the center of the room was a box. But not just any box, a treasure box. Sora's first instinct was to open the box. So he did. Inside was a key. Looking up he saw that the door was barred with a lock and chain.

"Simple enough," he muttered as he waltzed up to the door and shoved the key in the lock. After opening it, he did what most people do and entered the next room. The looked…pretty much the same as the one before it. Hallway, door, and treasure box. He repeated the same step as before, and entered the next room to find-

"What?"

-the exact same scenery as the first two rooms.

He repeated the steps yet again and entered the next room. And the next room, and the next room, and the next room, and the next…

"What the heck is going on!"

Uuuuh, we'll get back to this…

----

"Alright Agrabah here we come," shouted Link as he looked at the planet before them from the gummy ships' window.

"Wait how do you know we're heading to Agrabah?" asked the newly-found ever-questioning Donald. Then his eyes lit up. "You've been reading that cheat book again haven't you?" Link looked around all shifty eyed.

"No," he said, "there's a big sign that has the word Agrabah on it so I just assumed that was where we were headed." Donald looked out the window.

"Oh," he said in a small voice.

"Don't say 'OH' like you understand when you DON'T!" shouted the random post man from the plaque on the wall.

"Ooooooooooookay…" drawled Link.

--


	7. Lost jobs and staring contests

Chappy Seven:

"Sooooooo, you want us to help save this Jasmine character, right?" said Link slowly as the calculations took their toll. Aladdin, for that's who Link was speaking to, stared at him awaiting a response.

"Ya that's what I said," replied Aladdin as he lounged back in a giant chair with a gold and purple robe on, while smoking a rather large pipe.

Link stared at him incredulously. Then an idea popped into his head.

"Um why don't you go save her."  
Aladdin, who had been smiling keenly the whole time suddenly gaped at Link.

"Why didn't I think of that?" he exclaimed and threw off his robe (he was wearing his normal get-up under it) and dashed off into the desert.

"Well that was easy, lets go back to the gummi ship!"

Just as the trio turned, purple smoke filled the surrounding area.

"What's with all the purple?" questioned Link as he stubbed his toe through his temporary blindness.

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha!" a voice rang out. Link, Donald, and Goofy all turned in the general direction of the 'sinister' laugh. You wondering why there are little 'quotes' around 'sinister'? because, one, it belonged to Jafar, and two, the laugh sounded like that of a valley girls'.

"You weren't supposed to do that." said Jafar as everything went back to normal except for the morbid mug of Jafar himself.

"Do what?" asked Link innocently as he avoided eye-contact and promptly began to whistle.

"It's not how the story goes. Your supposed to go through agonizingly long dungeons and giant-head involved kick-ass fighting in the dessert." Link stared at him.

"And that implies…" Link said slowly, looking like he was taking a long time to think this over. Jafar was visibly irritated.

"It implies that you have to follow him you dipstick!"

Link was confused.

"Soooo you're saying you want me to help him out?"

"YES!"

"But that would involve me to kick your ass."

Jafar bit on that one for a second.

"Well not really…"

"Yes it does! You want me to go with the storyline which involves you losing to me in a super-blammo fight! Right?"

"Well no-"

"Then me leaving here and letting Aladdin work out his own problems, figures to your advantage."

"I suppose so-"

"Great! Then it's settled! I'll just be going then."

Jafar was still collecting his thoughts when he realized that if he didn't make Link go with Aladdin, then he would be fired. Uh oh…

"Hey wait! Get back here!" he cried in his valley-girl voice again, but it was too late. Link was already in the gummi ship and halfway through hyper-space right then.

"…crud…"

--

It has just occurred to me that Sora has been somewhat of a sissy-whiner baby ("HEY!"). I'm am not sure if that is really true, or if it has something to do with the author ('You don't value life do you?"). It's just with Sora being such a baby and Link is such a sexy bad ass, it made me think, "What would they do if they were switched back?" Would Sora still be a sissy? Well if you've played the games, he's not so much a baby. So my notion was that the author is trying to say something. So we're going to continue now and Sora will have grown somewhat of a backbone.

Carry on…

"Okay, this getting a little weird," stated Navi. Sora looked up at her with a sullen face.

"A LITTLE!" he panted as he leaned against a near by wall of a hallway with nothing more in than two doors and a treasure box.

"Well I'm not the kind of person that freaks out about these kinds of things!"

"Person?"

"…fairy." she huffedededed!

"Okaaay…maybe there's some secret door here or something…"

"Hey! Go try that welcome mat over there!"

Sora obliged as there was nothing else in the room that he himself could see to work with. He approached it and nothing happened. He touched it with the tip of his shoe. Nothing happened. He lifted it up a little, then he gasped.

"What is it?" asked his nonchalant fairy.

"It's a big blue and yellow treasure box," he said as he flipped the mat over to reveal a hidden treasure box. Navi hovered there silently for a moment. Then Sora put the mat back on the box.. It disappeared under it and there were no lumps. He picked it up again and treasure box was still there.

"Now how does that figure?"

They both stared in wonder for what seemed like days but was actually two weeks. Then Sora had the sense to open the treasure box and extract the big shiny golden key from within.

With it, Sora unlocked the door in front of them and entered the room beyond.

"It looks like some sort of boss room," commented Sora as he walked up a small flight of stairs. When he reached the top, he eyed the several old portraits that lined the walls in a wide circle. After a few minutes of fruitless searching, Sora found nothing that even slightly interested him, and decided to leave. But as he approached the exit, a set of spikes bared the way.

"Uh oh…"

Now I bet you're thinking that Sora said this in a reply to the spikes popping out of the ground. Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that when the spikes came out of the ground, Navi happened to be in the way of them and was skewered indefinitely! Okay and the bad news is that you were wrong in the assumption that Sora said uh oh because of the spikes. And the only reason Sora didn't react in any panic to the appearance of the spikes, is because they were only knee high in the first place.

"Navi!" he cried as the tiny corpse fell down the length of the spike. Then he caught himself.

"Wait a minute, why am I worried?" He then promptly began to dance around the room in a celebration that only takes place every…never.

As he danced his sacred dance of the perished fellows, (?) he ran into something he hadn't noticed before. It was warm, fuzzy, and muscley. (What are yooooooooooooouu thinking about, hmmmmmm?)

It was a horse you perverts! And not just any horse, but Phantom Ganny's horse. Sora looked to the face (or rather skull) of his new opponent. The stared each other down waiting for someone to make the first move. Showing no sign of weakness, Sora straed into the ghost's hollow eye sockets unblinkingly. The ghost just stared right back. This mini staring contest went on for some time. So whilst we wait for the two to finish, we will head back to Link's part of this little adventure.

…

"You know this is getting rather boring." commented Link as he watched Donald steer with an evil look in his eye. Donald profoundly ignored him, intent on keeping the wheel.

"You know what, FINE!" declared Link as threw up his hands.

Donald still ignored him. Link was getting real twitchy as Donald just sat there. A vein ticked profusely on the side of his head.

"You can have your stupid wheel! But guess what that means! Me and the checkered floor get all the alone time we want!" Link was losing it fast.

"Huh? What?" Said Donald loudly as if something like a shrill whistle had been going off. I think Donald is deaf. You heard me, deaf.

Link was furious, so he decided to sit in his own corner for the rest of the ride.

…

…

……

……..

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…………

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…………….

………………….

………………….

………………..

…………………..

………….

…….

….

…

Raise the bars. Verison Wireless.

"WHAT!" everyone present shouted in disbelief. Hey you're not paid to read the dialog. Everyone present then huffed.

"Okay I mean really boring," said Link again.

Everyone present sighed.

-------------------------------------------------------------x)(7s$$&()&&($$

"Sora," whispered Navi quietly into his ear, "I think you can stop staring at him now."

"W-h-y d-o y-o-u s-a-y t-h-a-t-?" Sora said retardedly.

"Because that heart container that appears after you beat a boss is sitting on the floor behind you."

"Hold on, if I break eye contact, I'll lose."

"Sora," Navi said regretfully, "he's already lost. He's dead. Watch," and thus, she walked, or flew, over and poked Ganny in the head. Her finger went right through him and he fell over.

Sora stared at the mess.

"HAHA I won!"

Navi sighed.

Then Sora stopped his little victory celebration and stared incredulously at Navi.

"What?" she asked innocently. Sora fainted.

……………

HOW THE HELL DOES SOMEONE SURVIVE BEING SKEWERED BY A MESS OF SPIKES!

……………..

That thought alone went through his mind over and over. Then he snapped out of it.

"Wait a minute!" he exclaimed in sudden realization.

"What?" said Navi.

"If you've died and you're still alive, that must mean that I can't die either! WOOT!"

"Uh no Sora that's not it…"interjected Navi but she was too late. Sora promptly threw himself upon the before mentioned spikes, killing himself.

Everyone present stared at the butchered corpse. Then Navi sighed.

"Could someone come clean up this stunt double?" Someone obliged and stepped up with a jumper of the colour orange and began to clean up the mess. Sora, after coming back from being snatched out of the air, gaped at the body.

"That's not fair! I wanted to invincible!" Sora then began crying. Anime-style of course though…Oh wait. I forgot. Sora's supposed to be a bad ass. Rewind!

!dniweR .ssa dab a eb ot desoppus s'aroS .togrof I .tiaw hO…hguoht esruoc fo eylts-eminA .gniyrc nageb neht aroS "!elbicnivni ot detnaw I !riaf ton s'thaT"

Okay that's good. Now Sora, you know the drill.

"Okay got it. clears throat …uhhhhh…"

Oh for goodness sake! Here just read this!

"Okay. Oh…wouldn't…want that…to…happen again uh…huh Navi?…Man you have some really bad handwriting."

You know I may just have to end this chapter soon than planned just to take you out.

"Okay, okay, cool it. I'm going, I'm going…"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

---------------------------

… (-) uh hee hee…

YAY THE COOKIE GOODNESS!

Alrighty I think I'm done…or am I? gasp BUM BUM BUUUUUUUUUUUUM!

…okay one more page ought to do it.

CAUTION: THE FOLLOWING MAY CAUSE INSULT OR DROOLING. I AM SORRY FOR EITHER. THOUGH IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOUR MINDS ARE SO FRAGILE. BEWARE, THE IMAGINATION WILL HAVE ITS WAY WITH YOUR HEAD…THEN YOU'LL END UP A NUT CASE LIKE MY BROTHERS…crashing sounds are heard from next room OMG THEY'RE REVOLTING AGAIN! RUN!

falls …JUST GO ON WITHOUT MEEEEEEEEEEE-----

…………………dead phone line

Um author lady? Author lady? I don't she made it through that one. But back to my caution. I'll give you a heads up. The next world is --

"Shhhhhhh! Don't tell them. I'm gonna have a lot more drooling fans after this." said Link as he put his hand over the narrator's mouth.

Well okay. But I have a bad feeling about this…..

-BacktoLink'ssideofthislittleadventure-

"Wow that was easy," said Goofy as he sat back in his recliner chair sippin' his cherry Pepsi. He was of course referring to the incident concerning the valley-girl speaking Jafar boss. When the author found out that he wasn't following the story-line, she sent him after Jafar. But it turned out that Aladdin had already kicked the old man's so-called ass. Then it was a wasted trip as none of the Disney characters are actually in on this charade. 'Cept Donald and Goofy of course.

"Land Ho!" shouted Donald from the controls.

"Ho? Where?" said Link sitting bolt upright…

"What?"

What?

"You're making faces at me."

Hey don't blame me for anything because you're the one that said it.

"I know…."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that…" mumbled Donald as he massaged his temples.

"Anyway there's another world dead ahead. It looks to be covered entirely in water so I'm going to have to-"

"Water? That's not good. How will we breathe? How can we search the place-"

"And not to mention the environment is terrible for my complexion." stated Link and everyone looked over at him including the undermining Jiminy Cricket who has been hidden away under Goofy's hat for the trip. And for good reasons that will not be explained here.

"What?" asked Link innocently.

"You're right. That was not to be mentioned." said Donald.

"Hmph."

"Anyway, again, I'll have to use my magic to help us breathe under the water. Though I warn you not to go past 37 kilometers. It can be pretty nasty."

"Why?" asked Goofy and Link together.

"Just…just trust me…"

-5 minutes later-

"I don't wanna do this anymore!" cried Link as he was being held an arms length from outside the Gummi Ship over the murky waters.

"Just shut up and take this." said Donald as he shoved a blue-looking pill into Link's mouth. Then Donald let him go and he plummeted to his death to the waters below.

Link choked and gurgled his way to the sandy bottom of the massive ocean. He panicked as his breath became less and less wanting to stay inside his lungs. After an amount of time Link just had to let go. So he did. He gasped, and gasped, and gasped expecting that choking feeling you get when you're drowning Though it didn't come.

"Well crap. I'm already dead!" whined Link in his mind. He swore then and there that if Donald survived this, his ass was so haunted.

Then Link realized that his breathing was just like normal. Like he was on land.

"What did that crazed duck do to me"? Link asked himself aloud to find that he had a voice he could hear underwater.

"What did you say?" came a threatening voice from behind which actually wasn't so threatening considering it was the gurglified sound of quacks.

Link turned around to face his 'friend' when he saw Goofy swim by…with a turtle shell on his back and flippers. Link stared. Then decided he wanted a few answers so he turned to Donald…only to find the same confusion in Octopus tentacles.

"WTF?" said Link. Donald shook his head.

"This isn't going to be pretty…"

Then Link looked down at his own…tail-like flippery fins.

"Holy fberries…"

cries What have I created?

Run! The fan girls are swarming.

Every present swam, ran, crawled away as the fan girls gained on their prey….who couldn't seem the figure out how to work his new fin.

"Uh guys. A little help."

I would help, but if I did then the fan girls would burn me alive…plus this is too much fun.

"I hate you." replied Link as he was buried under the fan girl mob.

Taps then began playing

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Okay that will be enough for Chapter seven.

Just so you know, the number 37 is the scariest number in the entire galaxy of existence. It's stalking me at the moment. Voice grows to a whisper It pops up everywhere!

Well I'm getting very sleepy because I stayed up all night watching The Full Metal Alchemist movie. It was freakin sweet ! XD No spoilers for you though! Haha

Okay byes nows!


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